The Heroical Lover - Canto Vii Poem by Thomas Bancroft

To Belgium goes the gallant Knight,
Avoids Ebbrezza's lewd delight:
And rings (to anger highly stirr'd)
Two Hogges of Epicurus Heard.

Our famous Travellours transendent loves
Like to a forest--kindled flame, that moves
With hot contention, seeming to look red
For anger, that it can no further spread.
He knew a brave heroick fortitude
(And such was his) should never seem subdu'd
Nor wearied out; but should as much disdaine
A faint submission unto grief or pain,
As in a quarrell once engag'd, to yield
After slight hurts, and basely quit the field.
The Spaniards, that of large Dominions boast,
And run Division so from coast to coast,
Had told him that their Belgick provinces
Bred famous Worthies, such as did professe
All arts, and had such pregnant phantasies,
That they the nautick compass did devise,
Swift--hurrying Chariors, Clockes, Typography,
Quaint musicke, lively Limning, Tapestry,
With many other rarities of wit,
For pleasure some, but more for benefit.
They told him also that the women there
Are starres of beauty, of complexion cleare,
And quicke in motion, thinking it scarce fit
To yield to men precedency in wit,
Or t' any Europaean Dames more fame
For noble vertue than themselves may claime.
These speeches blew the Knights internal fire,
And kindled in his breast a great desire
That coast to visit, and thereof to take
A full survey for faire Fidelta's sake.
Provided therefore of good shipping straight,
That near danc't under a more hopefull fraight,
He plows his passage through the foaming Sea,
By good direction finding out the way
To that low--seated region; where he lands,
And in no little admiration stands,
Viewing its bulwarks, made with mighty pain
And cost, the raging billows to restrain,
That threat to drive down all, and once did drown
Many fair fields, and many a goodly town;
Whose towers & steeples, when the season's clear
And water low, like marine rocks appear.
`Friend Eubulus, said he, these works are rare;
`And they that thus secure their borders, are
`More to be fam'd than Hercules. For he
`Found work enough to win the victory
`Of Achelous, that one river strain'd
`His nerves, before the conquest he obtain'd.
`But long (I hear) these Patriots have withstood
`The furious charges of the brinish Floud,
`Though thousand rivers to their Neptunes aide
`Bring their fresh forces, readily conveid,
`And oft great Æolus in puffing hast
`Sends his bold slaves to lay the country wast.
The painful Dutch may teach us industry,
`And fill our hearts with pleasing hopes t'enjoy
`After a small time what we much desire,
`And what we travel for at length acquire;
`Though yet we find that Fortune seldome goes
`Our way, nor friendly favours oft bestows.
Thus spake he; thus from every thing he saw,
Some useful observation did he draw.
Then warm with wonted fire, he foreward went,
Still wondring at the pains that had been spent
In cutting trenches, dreining marishes,
Casting up banks, and many works like these;
VVhereof some tend to profit, others aim
At pleasure, all true industry proclaim.
No Statist, on some great embassage sent
'Twixt Prince and Prince, can be more diligent
About the weighing of those nice affaires
That are the subject of his pressing cares,
Than was the Knight industrious to enquire
For the dear object of his deep desire.
Yet balkt he Amsterdam (though rich and fair
That City be) for that he heard there are
So many lost Religions there t' be found,
Like to Medusa's Snakes together wound,
Yet hissing at each other; such a croud
Of sects and heresies, and all allow'd
Their dotages, that he despair'd to see
Fidelta in such faithless company.
But with no small content he view'd the town
That bred Erasmus, Belgium's chief renown,
Who with pure flowing style far off to drive
Th' Augean filth of Barbarisme did strive;
Render'd the Muses walkes more sweet and clean,
And made their troubled spring run clear again.
To Zutphen when he came, and heard some tell
That there that star of honour, Sidney, fell,
A cloud of sorrow over--cast his face,
And thence a showr'e of tears distil'd apace,
VVhilst freshly he remembred that the fame
Of that brave Heroe to Atlantis came,
Long ere his amourous task he undertook;
And that his worthy Father bad him look
Upon such noble Patterns, and aspire
VVith main contention of a high desire
To reach their excellencies, and to be
(If possible) their equal in degree.
Thence goes he on, nor slacks a Lovers pace,
Proclaiming his design in every place;
And lets no object over--slip him, which
VVith any knowlege might his mind enrich.
The Sun (with fervent labour looking red)
Declin'd apace towards his western bed,
VVhen by the forrest of Ardenna's side,
An house of large receipt the Knight espi'de,
Such as wherein he thought that strangers might
Refresh themselves by day, repose at night.
At his approch, so wild a noise therein
He heard, as if the Thyades had bin
There with their Timbrels: howsoere, being tir'd
With travel, there to rest he much desir'd.
Straight then he enter'd; and so might he well,
Sith open stood the gate like that of Hell,
Those there assembled being void of fear,
For that by valiant Bacchus arm'd they were.
The house was full of Ramblers, some whereof
Did break unsavoury jests, and vilely scoffe;
Others sang Catches; some leapt over stooles;
Others grown qualmish, curst th' unquiet fooles;
Some crost in love deplor'd their bad success;
Others with laughter mockt their heaviness;
Some like the Lapithes and Centaures brawl'd;
But all drank deep, and for more liquor call'd
With thirsty throats, save those that had before
(Like mellow fruits) dropt down, and strew'd the floor.
Thus as hot sultry weather sundry wise
VVorks upon things of different qualities,
Hardens some substances, makes others flow;
Withers some Plants, & makes their fellows grow:
So did the fervid liquor of the grape
The humours of that drunken Rabble shape
Int' several follies, causing them t' express
Their tempers by intemperate rudenesses.
Amidst them sate Ebbrezza (so she hight,
Whose courtship was their solace and delight)
Deep--drencht in wine, yet such an Ocean more
Desiring, as no bottom had nor shore.
Like a great Puff the blown--up Fatling was,
Filling a large chair with her fleshy mass:
Her face was fully bladder'd, in whose sphere
Her eyes like flamy meteors did appear;
And in her fiery nose (that towards her chin
Inclin'd) the quintessence o'th quaffing sin
Seem'd bottled up: Her bagging cheeks so low,
And trebble chinne did hang, that little show
Her neck did make, although no little charge
Maintain'd a thorow--fare, a gulf so large:
Her palsied arms and hands could scarcely own
Themselves by shape, they were so over--grown:
Like a foul ruffled pillow either breast
Appear'd, whereon Silenus well might rest
His seldome--sober head: Her belly soft
VVas like a mossy mount, with laughter oft
(As with an earth--quake) shook: And in such sort
Those Limbs that should her weighty bulk support,
Were swolne with Dropsy, that they did appear
Not legs, but logs, such monstrous props they were;
Nor could she eas'ly move them, when to bed
She willing was to go, and must be led.
On one side of her stood a Cask repleat
VVith lusty wine; on th' other side a great
Nicotian boxe, which duly she did ply,
Smoking and quaffing still alternately;
That so being moist and dry by turnes, she might
Tast her Delights with greater appetite.
Sir Antheon smil'd when such a Rout he saw,
And knew not whether he should straight withdraw
Out from that mad--brain'd Company, or stay
To see the Humorists some tricks to play.
At length the guzzling Gossip he bespake
Thus: may we not be bold awhile to make
`Our randevouz amongst you, and to be
`Merry with this light--hearted Company?
`At least be furnisht with things requisite
`For Travellers, who with the morning--light
`Arose, and since have journyed without stay,
`Though our vext stomachs chid the tedious way?
`For we upon an urgent business go
`Of love, like arrows sent from Cupids bow,
`And on the sweets of hope may seem to feed,
`Yet yield perforce we must to Natures need;
`And (that our worse parts may do service to
`Our better) eat and drink, as others do.
`Sir, if you come to drink, said she, sit down,
`Here's liquor soon will take you by the Crown,
`Will make those sober looks of yours to stare
`Like to a Comet, conjure down your care,
`Make all your fears to vanish like my smoke,
`And arm you 'gainst encountring dangers stroke.
`You shall not need to wear here by your side
`A threatning sword, to shew your valours pride:
`My Caske's a Magazine, and you may hence
`Be strongly furnisht for secure defence:
`Then lay that dandling weapon by, sith fooles
`(And onely such) will so expose their tooles;
`And take you rather what our house presents,
`Full pots and pipes, the chief of implements.
Then laught, then belcht she, & then tooke a cup,
And drank to him; but slowly heav'd it up,
That, taking a long draught, she might thereby
More fully, what she dearly lov'd, enjoy.
Meane while slept forth two Roarers, fierce and bold
As fire--drakes, who the Knight too plainely told
That he must singe a merry Catch or two,
And what their Mistris had enjoyn'd him, do,
Or there he should not quench his thirst, nor be
Honour'd to mixe with that Society.
He, thus provokt to shew his metal (more
Than Meleager, when the sylvane Boare
Assail'd him) clapt his hand upon his blade,
And fuming with high indignation, said:
`Feed still, ye nasty Hoggs, each at his trough;
`I scorne what you deny, and have enough
`To see you swill and guzzle at this rate;
`Who onely staid to view (the more to hate)
`Your Bucchanalian freakes, and all those vile
`Impurities, that your loath'd lives defile.
`As much do I disdain to quaffe, and sing
`Those ribauld rhimes wherewith your rooms do ring,
`As from faire humane dignity to throw
`My self, and like a groveling beast to go.
Then with a threatning look, as straight he wou'd
Have mixt delicious wine with Drunkards blood,
And dampt their frantick mirth, he left the den
Of those wild beastly Revellers. But then
Did the plumpe Dame begin her voice to strain,
And call'd to him to stay, and call'd again,
Inviting him with promises, that might
Work on a green and frolicke appetite.
When she perceiv'd her words were like a gale
To drive him on, and nought they could prevaile,
She after him those jolly Champions sent,
That lately gave him so much discontent,
And bade them melt their language in to faire
In treaties, that he would with them repaire
Backe to her house. They hasted, reel'd, and fell,
Yet to him came, and did their message tell,
Courting him fairely at their first assay:
But when they saw he still would keep his way,
They call'd him Lout and Beast, & (to have staid
His Errantry) bold hands upon him laid.
He quickly shooke them off, and train'd them on,
Till out o'th' view of others they were gone;
Then, as the King of beasts, that (hunted) burnes
With wrath, at last on his Pursuers turnes:
So did he face about to fall on those
That follow'd him, & 'twixt them dealt his blowes.
Then, having with stiffe gagges distended wide
Their chaps, & their rude hands behind them tyde,
The next part that most workeman--like he plaid,
Was that a small arch in the bridge he made
Of eithers nose, and both together wyr'd;
Saying, Now you that busily conspir'd
`Against me, may with heads together laid
`Plot your Release, but hardly call for aide.
`Stand billing there like Doves, & spend your blood
`With comfort; 'tis for your dear countries good:
`Rather like Swine for Mast or other fruit
`Stand gaping, but forbear awhile to root:
`Be taught, ye Sots, to drink more sparingly,
`And Strangers treat with more civility.
This having spoke, he left them to bespue
Each others breast, and their ill manners rue.
Never did Bee on top of Hybla high,
Or faire Hymettus, with more industry
Search the sweet cells of every vernant flow'r,
From the Dayes entrance to the Evening hour,
Then he with care perform'd the great inquest
Of Love, that carelesty disturb'd his rest.
VVhen he had view'd each City, every Port,
And almost every place of great resort,
Yet was unsatisfy'd in his desire,
It was his purpose to have marc'ht up higher,
T' have seen the neighb'ring nation, o're whose heads
His shady wings the Austrian Eagle spreads:
But when being certify'd by sundry Posts
And Legates (sent into those lower coasts
To take up newes) that sure there could not be
Any such Lady found in Germany
As he enquired for, sith Fame no where
Is busier with her hundred tongues than there,
And quickly would such excellence discloud,
Although wrapt up in a Cimmerian shroud;
He paus'd a while, and like a Student far'd,
VVho reading sentences obscure and hard,
Is shrewly puzzled, yet will truth pursue
Through misty walkes, and seek a clearer view.
He could not but give way to discontent,
Yet scorned neretheless to slack the bent
Of his Resolve, or any signe to show
That his high courage did dejected grow.