The Guilt Trip Poem by David Lewis Paget

The storm outside was abating, or
He thought that it was, at first,
He'd only gone to the pub with Joe
To slake a raging thirst.
They'd both been out on the landfill
And it was humid through the day,
So Joe said, ‘Bet I can race you there
And put two pints away! '

But the storm had built as they drank in there
And the rain came down in sheets,
Then hailstones peppered the windows and
Joe said, ‘It's turned to sleet!
I think we're not going anywhere
‘Til the storm has passed and gone,
We might as well have another..
And it's your shout, ' he said to John.

They'd known each other forever, and
Had married two sisters, late,
They'd both been into their thirties,
Sister Jean and sister Kate.
While one of them was a loving match,
The other one was mean,
And Joe said, ‘would you consider a swap,
My Kate for her sister, Jean? '

So John had laughed, but he looked away
For he knew that Joe was sore,
For Kate was never the bargain that
His mate was looking for,
Her tongue was sharp, though he knew her bark
Was worse that her fabled bite,
For John was meeting Kate in the dark
When they both were alone at night.

He'd kick himself, for he knew that Jean
Was the love match of the pair,
But she tended to work at night so much
That she often wasn't there,
And Joe would stay at the pub so late
That they had to throw him out,
He didn't have cause to go back home
So he stayed until last shout.

The storm continued to rage outside
So they both got worse for drink,
And the talk died down as they sat and frowned,
They both had time to think.
‘We're always going to be mates, ' said John,
‘I hope that you think so too.'
‘We're side by side where we both belong
No matter what we might do.'

But the booze brought on a maudlin state
And it seemed to get to John,
‘It may be time to confess, ' he thought,
‘This deception can't go on.'
‘I've something I have to tell you, Joe,
It's time I was coming clean.'
But Joe stayed him, and he said, ‘Me first!
Old mate, I've been seeing Jean! '

26 December 2014