The Grand Tour Poem by Cicely Fox Smith

I always wished to see the world, I 'ad no chanst before,
Nor I don't suppose I should 'ave if there 'and't been no war;
I used to read the tourist books, the shippin' news also,
An' I 'ad the chanst o' goin', so I couldn't 'elp but go.

We 'ad a spell in Egypt first, before we moved along
Acrost the way to Suvla, where we got it 'ot an' strong;
We 'ad no drink when we was dry, no rest when we was tired,
But I've seen the Perramids an' Spink, which I 'ad oft desired.

I've what 'll last me all my life, to talk about an' think,
I've sampled various things to eat an' various more to drink;
I've strolled among them dark bazaars, which makes the pay to fly
(An' I 'ad my fortune told as well, but that was all my eye!)

I've seen them little islands too - I couldn't say their names -
An' towns as white as washin'-day, an' mountains spoutin' flames;
I've watched the sun come lonely up on miles an' miles of sea,
Why, folks 'ave paid a 'undred pound an' seen no more than me!

The sky is some'ow bluer there - in fact, I never knew
As any sun could be so 'ot or any sky so blue;
There's dates an' figs an' suchlike things all 'angin' on the trees,
An' black folks walkin' up an' down as natural as you please.

I always wished to see the world, I'm fond o' life an' change,
But Abdul got me in the leg; an' this is passin' strange,
That when you see old England's shore, all wrapped in mist an' rain,
Why, it's worth the bloomin' bundle to be comin' 'ome again!