Rishit Desai

Rookie - 0 Points (21/02/1976 / Mumbai)

The Fluvial Mind


If the path before you is clear,
It may be your eyes but definitely another's mind;
If you know what you are looking for,
Then that is all you will ever find.

Like a river has no choice but to flow,
Meet a lake, fight a mountain even though;
Disappear will it one day with a desert bend,
Or merge with the ocean in the end.

Submitted: Monday, February 13, 2012
Edited: Saturday, June 16, 2012

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  • Freshman - 1,353 Points Kay Staley (6/18/2014 4:45:00 PM)

    Not spectacular by any means. Poor rhyme scheme, mediocre vocabulary, lack of convincing emotion, and purposeless meaning that has no power to move readers' thoughts in any certain direction. Like a river had no choice but to flow is a nice line that cleanly shocks the reader as they ponder that thought taken for granted in their mind. This poem does have a nice vague, almost morgue impression left upon my mind. It could be vastly improved, but yet already has a good start on being something worthwhile, which could be said of almost all poetry. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,094 Points * Sunprincess * (6/18/2014 10:54:00 AM)

    ............very nicely written....I was kind of disappointed to see this poem end.....congratulations on member poem of the day... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Karen Gonzalez-videla (6/18/2013 4:09:00 PM)

    Really nice poem! Loved the comparison with the river :) I invite you to read my poems and leave comments on them :) Also: congratulations, though your poem was chosen for the member poem in the home page :) :) ! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,231 Points Savita Tyagi (6/18/2013 8:01:00 AM)

    Beautiful poem. Yes it takes a long time before most of us realize how our paths have been chalked out way before we knew any thing. enjoyed reading. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 763 Points Jasbir Chatterjee (6/19/2012 12:10:00 AM)

    short and beautiful...indeed, one has no choice but just follow along and make the best of it...we might think we know what we want, but that is just an illusion....yes, I like this poem very much, especially the title...28788 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 52 Points Pankajam K (6/18/2012 10:17:00 PM)

    wonderful read. Life's realities are explained with a flowing river that merges in the ocean or goes unseen in the desert. enjoyed. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Oludipe Oyin Samuel (6/18/2012 1:36:00 PM)

    Striking and soothing. It flings the mind across a space of a renewed soul. Larger meanings, concrete feelings. Great job! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie teal Sky (4/12/2012 8:32:00 PM)

    the poem, i think tells us about the various choices or path we take in our life,
    we can either disappear without leaving a mark in this now, without leaving stones unturned, or we can make something worth of our life and the world just like the drops of river eventually form the whole ocean. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 561 Points Shahzia Batool (2/18/2012 12:02:00 AM)

    If the path before you is clear,
    It may be your eyes but definitely another's mind

    NEWTON said:
    if i have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants....

    the poem offered a beautiful reading... (Report) Reply

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