The Erratic Rat Poem by Carolyn Wells

There was a ridiculous Rat
Who was awfully puffy and fat.
'I'll carry,' he said,
'This plate on my head,
'Twill answer in place of a hat.'

And then he remarked with a frown,
'I suppose that I must have a gown;
I'll make me a kilt
Of this old crazy-quilt,
To wear when I'm going to town.

'And of course, though the weather is warm,
It may be there'll come up a storm;
An umbrella I'll make
Of a caraway cake,
It'll match with my whole uniform.

And I'll carry a bottle of ink
In case I should wish for a drink;
And this flat-iron so sweet
I'll take with me to eat,
And now I am ready, I think.'