Treasure Island

Leila Hadi


The Black


Everything in me starts turning,
as a darkness gently shrouds.
The blood within in me begins burning,
as it creeps in with the clouds.
What I see is concerning,
all my fears now awake.
The universe is clearly affirming,
this twilight is opaque.
My soul inside me churning,
with all my life at stake.
Every action must be discerning,
any chance I must take.

Submitted: Sunday, March 10, 2013
Edited: Saturday, May 10, 2014

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Topic(s): dark

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  • Sandy Player (3/11/2013 2:59:00 AM)

    It's good that you chose to keep one rhyme a constant in the poem; that'll always make the black a little more impending. It appears clichéd at points so you might want to look out for that. My favourite line is definitely:

    this twilight is opaque.

    It sits in the middle like the heavy thickness it is. I like that. (Report) Reply

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