The Bicycle Bandit Poem by Sidi Mahtrow

Here's a story to be told
Before the memory grows old
About a famous (or infamous) if you prefer it
The Bicycle Bandit.

In Memphis town
Streets were clogged with traffic is well known
So how to rob a bank and escape
Avoiding problems in the wake.

An enterprising son of a well known family
Found his wagers on golf scores were unfriendly
Resulting in a tab to be paid
If he was to remain invited to play.

How to replenish the wallet that an insurance agent
Found most inadequate
Yielded up the solution
Most apparent in a moment.

Why instead of a deposit in the bank
Why not a withdrawal, he did think
Of course the funds there belonged to another
But the logistics were a nuisance, why bother.

Ureka! Two solutions in one
He'd just approach the bank in the afternoon sun
On a bike borrowed from his daughter
Who away in school would never be concerned.

Arriving in his sunday best
(At least that's the way he was dressed)
A sporting cap and glasses disguised his face
And the cameras would have not a trace.

Approaching the teller
When there were no other customers to bother
Slipping a neatly typed note for her to read
Just Twenties and Fifties was the plead.

Now no weapon was in sight,
But the teller most died of fright
And heaped piles of bills on the desk
And away he went like a will o wisp.

Astride the girls bike he was seen
As he fled the scene
To parts unknown
For tracking him was not to be done.

It worked so well that soon when his funds were limited
Another trip to Memphis (home of Elvis) did I mention.
Another withdrawal just as before
And back to the golf course by a bit after fore (four) .

He became well know to the tv audience
As he made his now weekly cash advance
And the videos or bank camera film
Clearly showed him as he did abscond.

Now awaiting the golfer (bank robber if you prefer)
His partners sat sipping a cold one waiting for him to appear
Some one mentioned that looks a lot like Jeff
And all the others agreed, twas himself.

Called the Sheriff who came a-running
Hid his car to avoid any warning
And awaited the arrival of our hero (villain)
To see if he indeed was the one.

The old pickup truck came down the lane
To the country club of robber fame
Stopped at the garbage dumpster
And unloaded the suspicious bike behind her.

Then off to the bar for a quick one
Joining his partners in their last one
Then to his surprise,
The sheriff did arrive!

Four to Twenty was the jury's decision
But time off for good behavior was certain
Because his friends needed him to make up
The foursome.