The Ap Language Exam Prep Poem by Justin Reamer

Studying, studying,
For hours on end,
My siblings in the other room,
As I sit here with my eyes glued
To my giant binder on the table.

I studied for hours and hours,
Memorising fallacies,
Rhetorical strategies,
The Aristotelian Triangle,
And everything else there is.

The Aristotelian Triangle,
Was somthing founded by Aristotle,
He who was a philosopher,
And knew all about rhetoric.

He came up with the triangle,
Involving pathos, ethos, and logos;
Aristotle was a genius,
For he knew what he was talking about.

Pathos is the emotional appeal,
Showing affection to your audience;
You show love and affection,
And you win your audience's heart.
Animal cruelty commercials use this
As you see the kind innocent faces of dogs and cats;
You feel horrible,
Since you're spending money
On coffee instead of them.

It also works with your mother,
As Ms Ver Beek had said,
She is very emotional,
And she feels sorry for you.

Ethos is the character appeal,
An appeal to credibility,
It shows you who you are
And that you know what
You're talking about.

Logos is the appeal to logic,
The mentality of the obvious.
For those who want the hard-earned fads,
It is right there for you.

Rhetorical strategies are important,
Whether they're tropes or schemes,
They can be just about anything,
From hyperbole to metaphors,
Metonymy to synecdoche,
Anaphora to chiasmus,
Antithesis to parenthesis,
And paradox to alliteration.
They are all important in structuring
An argument that is plausible,
One with lots of cogency,
And no denial hitherto.

Modes of discourse are another matter,
For they are impeccable, as well.
They can be narration,
Or something as simple as compare and contrast.

Fallacies are faulty,
As anyone can see,
They obstruct reasoning,
For whatever reason it may be.

Now, you see I am prepared,
After studying hours on end.
All I can think about no,
Is my dear friend Lyn.

How she is so perfect,
How she is so great,
She is like the shining sun,
Out there in the dreadful rain.

I am being distracted,
My mind has wandered again,
I just need to relax my thoughts,
Until 48 hours begins.