Terrified... Poem by Andrus Cassian

Hello again dear entry
dear sweet entry
Forgive me dear entry
Can you find it in your pages to forgive me
I apologize for my constant absence
and my consistence of being forgetfully incomplete
I could name every reason why I have sadly been away
why I have been covertly afraid
yet it would only be an endless page of useless excuses
written down, without hesitation, thrown back in my face
and I would have deserved it
Cause I'm sorry to bore you
but my story has the exact same plot as before
just new events, new people, and stones still untouched, unturned
Too many promises, broken hearts, and running screams
a constant avalanche of curiosity, immorality
Immortal, I've been thinking it's more than a word, an essence
but does it matter at this very moment
I've been brought back down to size
I'm only vulnerable, just too vulnerable for my weak points to show
more soundly to understand, it's just easier to delete me
than to strip down everything that composes of my entire being
This ice is too thin for me to tread
and I'm one footstep away from falling from a ledge
suspended animation
lift me up because I'm terrified...
for once in my life...I'm terrified...