Tears Of Acid Poem by Dee RAAIN

Tears Of Acid

Rating: 4.3


Tears dropp and fall.
My heart is full of pain.
It feels like it's being torn apart.
I'm starting to feel insane.
My eyes blood shot red.
My smile turns into a frown.
The emotions inside me are up and down.
I feel so angry as the tears from my face fall.
Am I crying tears of acid..? ?

My mind controlled by fear.
My hands shiver of cold.
My eyes can't seem to bear.
to see the images in my head so clear.
I try to forget what happened.
As my tears fall through the floor.
I can't stand the pain no more.
It's hurting deep inside.
I just spend hours in tears.
I just cry, cry and cry.
Am i crying tears of acid..? ?

Yes i'm crying tears of acid.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Allan O 06 November 2009

excellent...the feeling flows thru your words..i won't say i enjoyed this read because if it is a true inner feeling one should not praise such hurting...but your writting is good...and i agree with Portia on her part about acid tear....but not on the part of a re-draft..one should never rephrase what they feel..or try to polish it up...if it is the words that move from your thoughts to the keyboard then they are you..don't re adjust your feeling....thanks for the reading.... ~^..^

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Eyan Desir 04 November 2009

I will give you a flower stop crying ok...lol well written

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Portia Lane 02 November 2009

i like the title and the metaphor acid tear... you don't really connect acid tears to anything in the poem though... if you would have said i cry tears or named the poems tears, to me the meaning wouldn't change. I think you should try writing it again... (hope i don't sound harsh... don't mean to... its just that I like the idea, you just didn't bring it out in the poem.) : -) please write it again i'd love to read a second draft

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0 ... 01 November 2009

Very pretty poem, all in all.

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