Sun Poem by Nestor David Armas

I'm riddled with guilt,
If I could I'd push a sword
Through my heart to the hilt,
Not being able to exchange one word
Has my soul heavy
So many thoughts
Trying to break through the levy
My stomach in knots,
I'm on my knees
Hoping someone will listen
To my pleas,
As my eyes do misten
At every memory
With every moment
I am ornery,
Though the pain is potent,
Come alive
And die again
I go in and dive
Into all the way back when,
Trying so hard to refrain
From smudging the stain,
Of my reckless mess
Because I spilt the milk
Broken under duress,
What to do, what not to do, of that ilk,
And I tried to soak it all up
How idiot of me back into my cup,
They said don't, but I did cry
Anyways, because it all seemed a lie,
And I was found there it seemed
It was my crime, even if I denied to the sky,
The doubt settled in, and I was deemed
No better than those liars before me,
And who would believe other than what their eyes see?
Not a chance, not an ounce
Of forgiveness? Because they pounce
Without a second thought
Certain they connected every dot,
That it is so, what they think they know,
And never giving me the fighting lance,
But on bended knee is my stance,
Not proud defiance,
Nor meek as if in receipt of pittance,
But humbly wearing my heart
Even if a sleeve I have not, I am apart,
Not to be mistaken for the rest
All those I've spoken against and detest,
Won't you look into my eyes and truly watch
The honesty in them, no clearer window hatch
To the earnest seeker of pardon from my fall,
And let that ray of sun shine on all...