Suicide Note Poem by Samm Rodriguez

i wish i could say I'm okay
there isn't a way of hiding it from the ones i love
who love me
I'm a 157 pound burden on everyones life
i can't do anything right
I'm selfish
i cry too much
i want too much
I'm not enough for the girl i love
if i was, i wouldn't be contemplating suicide every waking hour
of every single day
my addiction is killing me
I'm glad it is
i deserve to die
maybe then i will find truth in the lures religion has told
maybe then i will find a god
maybe then i will shake hands with satan
skepticism controls me
i need to see to believe
i guess thats why love is so hard to believe in
my friends have escaped my grasp
I'm alone
how am i supposed to help others
when i can't help myself
how can i find happiness
when my emotions are drenched in sorrow
do i have the balls to pull the trigger
will i even see tomorrow..
SR;