Suicidal Pleasure Poem by Jessica Vera

As I stare off in a distance thinking of what life would be

Just knowing its been years and sadly I still grief

Trying to move on with my life but I can't

Depression just has me trapped...



I think of ending every depressing minute I live

With a simple mistake it can all be over with

But my promise to you has kept me here

Alive and yet with fear...



A knife with blades that cuts deep pain

Like the times I lived, tortured and drained

Thoughts of escape runs through my brain.

My suicidal pleasure still runs insane...



With thoughts of running into deep sleep

To escape this pain and agony

And never wake up from this dream

That haunts me and won't let me live



My suicidal pleasure still runs insane...

Thoughts of escape runs through my brain.

I just want a smile to stay

but sadly missery is on its way...



As I stare off into a distance thinking of what life would be

The past comes up and I'm scared it'll repeat.

I wouldnt be able to handle it again....

My suicidal pleasure is my wish again.



As I lay calm in water to die

I think twice of what could be life

I see a dim light pass me by

but the dark clouds just covers the sight.



I see no hope. I see no life.

I see no happy thoughts come by.

I am all alone in this world.

I feel like theres nothing more...



My suicidal pleasure drives me insane

As I think of making a big mistake

Just trying to escape from this horrific past

That stole my happiness and brought me sad...



I try so hard to live it up.

Smile even if its not a lot.

Fake my happiness and hide my thoughts.

Looking for a reason to move on.



My suicidal pleasure haunts my thoughts.

The knife I hold just means a lot.

Thinking again of what brought me here.

Makes me want to cut my tears.



But here I go to grant my wish.

Suicidal pleasure is what I seek.

Its the only escape from pure missery.

No more tears and no more dreams...