Suddenly Savior Poem by Michael C H

I sit as a huddled mass, lost
To the outside, covered in tears and the frost
Of an icy world,
Suddenly lost from my brightness unfurled.
'I'm fine' I think 'it's happened before'.
But this time I wasn't so sure.
They hurt, the tears from nowhere,
A depression that I didn't want to share,
A goodbye left unsaid
To protect you but you ended up mislead.

I didn't ignore you, I wanted to say
Goodbye but I couldn't speak, left betrayed
And choked by the sudden onslaught of dark,
Unwelcomed emotions. Happiness left and a mark
Of depression fell as I left without a sound,
Hoping you'd stop me from down that path I was bound.
But you didn't, thought I didn't want to talk
And so you let me walk
Out of the room to collapse into tears,
My mind running more on pain and on fears.
You thought I was trying to hurt you.
You said things that only hurt me too.
It sent me deeper into my self loathing.
The tears dropped and stained my creased clothing.

You realized something was off and you changed
Your tone. Worried, you asked what was wrong, rearranged
Your words and comforted me.
And then, your care I could really see.
And I saw through eyes unfettered,
As if I'd only read from books unlettered,
That you were there for me. Your words
Were soft and unsure, but they flew like birds
From text to my mind and I heard your voice
And I knew in that moment, again, that I had no choice
And that I didn't need a choice. I love you.
I have for so long, though I didn't think it true
At first, and I will for as long as I can see,
That I'll want to be with you and you with me.
Insecurity and doubt will linger for my whole life,
But I thought in that moment of inner strife
That I wanted you to do the same,
That I wanted to play the game,
That you were all that I need.
And in that second, I was freed.
Freed from the chain of my darkened mind,
Freed from that hell only to find
That you were my only taste of heaven
And that I never want to lose what I've been given,
I want to tell everyone that I never want to lose you,
But I knew that even sooner than I knew
Just how much I truly loved you.