Strings Poem by Michael Arruda

1) The first time I questioned my cult
I never let out what my heart had to say
But I realized the moment of truth is here,
What the person inside me has to show
All I want to be is pure,
But I keep telling myself
That no one is going to love you if you leave,
And I'm so scared that I let go
Of what I want to be
And what I want to do.
And I run from the truth
But the lies hurt me too

So what am I supposed to do?
I'm stuck in a world that is even worse
For everything I have to rehearse
What I am going to say
But again…and again,
I am trying to break free

So I am not even fitting in
Truth and lies are okay
In this world I'm stuck conforming too

Where everything is twisted and mixed,
I don't know who to believe, who to ignore
What to treasure, and what to let go!
Can I keep what I have to lose?

2) What is a lie? Why do we intend to lie?
I think it's because of situations we have to deny
But why to deny? Because, of our fear to try
Our fear to try and face and handle the lies
We had applied in our life
A life that's so unbelievable
That even sent you to die
Why die?
Die…because you are through with your purpose

3) I couldn't bring myself to accept it
To accept the web of lies I was tied in
Sins, I've committed so many, so they've said
But the biggest sin I've committed is within
I follow what I am told to do
I have become a useless thing
These strings hold me up higher and higher
I sink lower and lower
My body and mind tire
My confidence runs thin
I run, and run
And I stay in place
And I stop.
But I know.
I know I can't give in, I can't give up
I rise, and I rise and try to stand high
But these strings keep me in place
Any trace of the old me is gone
I no longer am myself
A puppet on the shelf
But I rise…and I rise
And I tear out these strings from there sockets
And I cut them apart.
I will no longer be a slave to this system of silence!
I am new.

4) I am new.
I was born again
Freed from that sin
Freed from the cult
I always believed I was at fault
That I was wrong
But now,
I have a voice.
I plan to use it.