Still I Slept Poem by Daniel Brick

Still I Slept

Rating: 4.9


The traffic was loud.
Car wheels slapped the pavement
like wrestlers hitting the mat.
Still I slept.

The neighbors were partying.
Empty beer cans hit the trash can
like bullets ricocheting off a target.
Still I slept.

The rain fell after midnight.
Hailstones battered metal awnings
like raucous music by angry musicians.
Still I slept.

Dreams turned into nightmares.
The strawberry patch at Fergus Falls
looked like blood surging from a gashed flesh.
Still I slept.

Dawn pressed against the window.
The light shone golden
like a silent cascade of tiny coins.
Still I slept.

The early hours were fragrant.
Morning spread itself across the landscape
like a soft blanket of transparent green.
Still I slept.

Unexpectedly two great eyelids closed.
No promises were kept, no expectations,
met. Hope stopped, love never began.
I awoke.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Topic(s) of this poem: Mystery
POET'S NOTES ABOUT THE POEM
On one level this poem is an exercise in creating imagery and using figures of speech. On another level, it is a contrast between the activity of the world which is messy and disorganized but also vital and alive with the activity of the interior which is sluggish and obdurate and unconnected to the larger society. Usually I approach the interior world with respect and wonder, but this poem took me to a different understanding. I was very surprised. Still the poem has its own sense of direction and I followed that - and now I have a new set of issues to puzzle through. Like Tamino in THE MAGIC FLUTE who realizes while on his journey, his quest, that Sarastro is the good king and the Queen of the Night is the evil partner. His world view is turned upside down, but it's the right one so he remains in that lopsided position for the rest of the quest. This must be a difficult situation for the hero, I certainly find it awkward.
COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Fabrizio Frosini 30 December 2014

Daniel, you say, in your note: this poem is an exercise in creating imagery and using figures of speech. Well, it is a very good exercise, indeed: you are a skilled, excellent craftsman, which can create different & contrasting reality with the language of Poetry. The last stanza [Unexpectedly two great eyelids closed. No promises were kept, no expectations, met. Hope stopped, love never began. I awoke.] is particularly intriguing, so much that I could not resist the temptation to translate it... Well, I post here an Italian version of your own stanza (changing it a little, even the punctuation) , picturing it as a poem in its own right, with its own title... Hope you can accept it as a friendly tribute to your creativity. Awakening [ Il risveglio * ] Inaspettatamente, due immense palpebre si sono chiuse. Nessuna promessa è stata mantenuta. Nessuna aspettativa soddisfatta. Nessun amore è sbocciato; svanita ogni speranza. Alla fine, mi sono risvegliato. - * del poeta.. - the awakening of the poet... :) Fabrizio

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Valsa George 30 April 2014

This is indeed a very fruitful read.... The poem is rich in beautiful analogies... Blissfully unaware of the din and bustle around, sleeping away to glory, creating an inner calm of one's own...! . Or is it an escapism from the world of realities... or is it an eternal sleep when one realizes with regret that many promises are to be kept and no expections met... An open ended write that may be interpreted in many ways!

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Bill Upton 25 June 2014

My take on the final portion of this poem is that the eyelids that closed were not those of the writer, but they were of another, perhaps an unrequited love affair or a distancing from a parent or child. The harsh reality and ultimate acceptance of the inevitable conclusion is what awakened the writer from his sleep. Daniel, you are a creative thinker of the highest level. The ultimate curiosity is the duplicity of translations for a poem's ending meaning. I would be honored if you would critique 2 of my poems, Demise and The Changing of the Sun. Your input would be of great value to me. It is obvious by your background and by your writing that you have spent serious, cerebral time in your craft. That is so very admirable. Thank you for your gift.

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Piyush Dey 13 August 2014

the ending changed the whole scene. just loved this one. nice imagery and simile. nice one, dear.

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Yash Shinde 06 April 2014

Dawn pressed against the window'......some beautiful lines in there.....lovely write, Never let go of your sleep! ! ! ..I cordially invite you to read my poem- '...to bosom thee....I'll rise''..and ''never look like one''..plzz share your views in comments.....regards

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Dr Dillip K Swain 06 August 2022

Without much interpretation, I just admire astute use of similes, 'like wrestlers hitting the mat', 'like a soft blanket of transparent green' among others. A piece of poetry to be read forever. Timeless!

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Soran M. H 01 September 2020

part 3 I think this poem needs more readings and deeper study and review. I am interesting in his works so much and enjoying them. each stanza has got it is special meaning and story, and all stanzas together giving a complete meaning in one strong unit of poetic form

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Soran M. H 25 August 2020

Unexpectedly two great eyelids closed. No promises were kept, no expectations, met. Hope stopped, love never began. I awoke.

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Soran M. H 25 August 2020

here our beloved poet has used very unique poetic similes in his masterpiece; such as: like wrestlers hitting the mat. like bullets ricocheting off a target. like raucous music by angry musicians. looked like blood surging from a gashed flesh. like a silent cascade of tiny coins. like a soft blanket of transparent green.

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Soran M. H 25 August 2020

excellent poem by a professional poet deserves top mark and onto my fav list, thanks for sharing, all the best

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