Still Alive Poem by hurma eht

The feeling of not belonging surrounds me
this eats me slowly, inside and out

Why do people have to be so rough?
Why so blunt and rude?

Can’t they see the change in my expressions
or are they trying to be blind

Can’t they change their tone for me
or are they just not kind

No one knows what it feels like to be a complete worthless
no one knows how unwanted it feels when someone says “you can’t”

But how do I change the perspective of all theses innumerous people
they think I can’t they think I won’t they think I wouldn’t be able to

I hate the feeling of being weak
but that all who I am

My insides are so bleak
my outsides just lame

My feelings are unnoticed
or maybe that’s just my thinking

Maybe people do see them but just don’t focus
on this “thing” that’s just living

Trying to find an Escape from here
but where will it lead I do not know

Getting lost is my fear
but this fear I won’t show

Because no one would notice it anyways
this world is to perfect for me

I wish those lights would also shower me with its rays
so I could be send to another world, so I could flee

But running away won’t change me or my feelings
they might just increase them and intensify them

So ill just act like I’m perfectly fine, ill just keep cheating
no one will ever see the gem

Perfection will be my cover, to the bruised insides
so they can think that I’m still alive.