Still Poem by Thoughts of a Single Man

I sit marooned here on the isle of my thoughts

as I watch the waves of my memories

swim beneath the clouds of a darkened sky

trapped in the deafening roar of my unheard cry

as a single syllable is branded upon my mind once more

as I pose to myself the painful premise of why

I think about you still

in those quiet moments of the evening

when I sip my humble cup of quiet remorse

I wonder sometimes what you are doing

I wonder are you happy

I wonder are you content

do you still fondly reminisce over the time we spent

it was so very sacred to me

before you were taken from me

and then my mind races once again

purging itself in a cascade of unrequited questions

endless possibilities that drown me in their downpour

though I know the answer to them all

I see images of you and I holding one another

there on the shores of a dreaming land

where wishes of the broken

become the shining dispensed tokes

that ring like the morning chimes of the day

I lose my way then

wandering in the fields of my regret

as my face becomes wet

with the tears that fall from my blinking eyes

there is no sound

only my heartbeat as it thumps erratically in its sorrow

if only i could wake tomorrow with you by my side

I could feel that the fragments of my shattered heart

as they would finally mend it is repair

and I would no longer have to keep up this grand charade

this immortal facade that I am content

for it saps the strength of the lonely to so often pretend

for with each rising of the sun you are not there

and the days stream into a collage of my remembered angst

I can still hear your voice on the phone

and in those rare instances

my being soars in its recollection

and do not feel so very alone

do you remember how we used to talk for hours

how we used to laugh

do you recall how we spoke of holding each other

in the frosty chill of the eve

me keeping you warm in my arms

laying tender kisses upon your lips

in a scene painted within both our minds

how I wish you were mine

yet you are gone from me now

perhaps by my own doing for I am far from perfect

though I still crave with all that I am

to have once more chance for you to be at my side

I feel so empty inside

I still wake in the hours before the city blooms

a prisoner here in this room

wresting with the tally of my emotions

as if I have been sealed forever in a restless tomb

like an unborn child of his eventual plight

incapable of taking flight from his determined future so bleak

drowning in the fluid of a breathless womb

I whisper your name aloud

hoping that by some miracle

that my uttered yearnings so true

could be carried on the wings of mercy

and grace your precious ear

and you would call back to me

come back to me

fall back to me so I cold catch you

and capture you in the air of my waiting embrace

for there are still so many dreams we could share

so may roads we could dare

but I know you have moved on

and share the song of life with another

a new friend friend and lover

and so I sit here with this pen in my trembling hand

a crumbled heap

a warped mass

lost deep in the pile of the pieces of a broken man

dotting the ink of this hoping plan

that the angels will hear my prayers

and you could somehow see these words

and think of me and smile

just for a second of not for a while

and and know that I truly care

and realize just how much I want to have you near me

to have to hear me

for each time I close my eyes I see you so clearly

my soul can find no peace

mu body can find no sleep

and all can can do in my longing

is bow my weary head and weep

for the one is lost to me now

for there is such a high cost to me now

the price I pay daily does not come cheap

as I try to fill the space you have left within my depth

this rotting ache that gnaws at the fibers of my essence

for life seems not as full without your presence

and even on the warmest of days

I feel your absence in my bones

as marrow moves in the drudgery of its chill

such a hard swallowed pill

that you are gone from me forever

with no chance of writing another chapter

as I watch the shattered pane stain the ground before me

from the picture torn form the pages of the story

that held the frame of my happily ever after

for with all the time that has passed

it seems like yesterday when we were of one

and so I looked forward to all that was yet to come

for I do love you....

still


Thoughts of a Single Man © 2014 tm