Sorry Will Never Be Enough... Poem by Aranoys AreligSelegn

'Are you happy now? ' you asked me
And I wanted to tell you
I have nothing but pain
and more pain
all over again
I hate myself once more
and I wish the only place I was right now
was in my cold grave

Even that I'm denied by God
because of the pain and hurt I've caused
and I know there is nothing I can do to change the things I've done
or to erase all of my mistakes

I've lost you both my true friends
and I've payed with my sould
because today I've also found out
my true love is lost to me
and gone far away
even tho you dont believe it
I'm dying slowly with every second of this day...
I wish I was like certain perfect lady
with the happy and perfect smile
who does everything so perfectly and well

To you I say, what I did to you
will never be forgiven and
I take on myself all the blame.

My mistake was to accept
a caring and innocent hand
and I was not strong enough to turn it away.
I had no intention to hurt you
and I don't expect you to forgive me at all
but know my mistakes are mine and
I should suffer the pain I bring to others
in my own darkness and all alone…

I want you to know that if I could take my life away right now
just to give you peace and erase your sadness
I'd do it right away
I wish I could erase myself and all the pain I've caused
and keep my eyes from seeing another day in this world

You don't know me
No one really does
So I'm baring my soul to you
Just because you deserve the truth

I am pain
I am sadness
I am a bad cancer that even though it kills others
it only dreams of being and doing good to them!
I wish I was like you
a sweet person that brings smiles to everyone's world


What's left of me dies now
It dies becuase of my own disappointments
and from the shame I brought on myself…
I will still be alive for a bit longer
just because of other innocents that count me
But there is no soul left here
There is no life left in me,
whatever good I once had
is all dead and gone by now.

Am I happy now?
No, I'm not…
I die now and what's left of me
is only pain and disgrace
until my undeserving soul
gets the only chance if peace
when I get to leave this world