Snowflakes Poem by Ratana K. Song

Snowflakes



Snowflakes like diamonds,
Brightly blink on his chain.
Snowflakes like lip-gloss,
Sweetly sparkle on her lips.
Snowflakes as white as cotton,
That grows in summer.
Snowflakes falling down from the sky,
Like leaves falling down from trees in autumn.
A snowflake lands on my palm,
Like a happy woman in her lover’s arms,
It transforms into water,
Like a Chameleon changes its colour.
Snowflakes like diamonds,
Forever on her finger,
Snowflakes as white as her gown,
Cascading onto the ground.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Joseph Harskamp 03 February 2007

ok, here comes some constructive critisism. word choice...you need more of it. your poem lacks vocabulary. my personal tastes like words. im infatuated with words. if there are to many common words, i grow board...this didnt keep my attention. second...WAY to many similies...(direct comparisons) . you need more metaphor (indirect comparisons) . that will add more hidden depth to your poetry.

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