"Smile." Poem by MyIner Agony

Have you ever felt hopeless before? The type of hopeless where the strings of your heart pull. The hopelessness of failure like you can't do anything right. I feel that way right now. I feel like I've failed at everything I try... I failed my mother as a daughter, I failed my family by pushing them away and I just recently failed a health test though I studied all week. I decided to write this essay about failure because you asked me to narrate one of my big memories. I tried to think of something happy to write about but I usually only remember the bad stuff. So I'm going to talk about one of my biggest failures that none of my failures can top... my biggest failure was when I failed my baby brother as a sister....because I let him die. I remember it was December the first. My mom, brother and I just had birthday' s past by now, I just turned eight and my brother just turned one. I was in my Strawberry Shortcake decorated room when... "Serenity? ! " Mom yelled for me in worry so I ran into the living room to find out what was wrong. " Come over here and see if Unity responds to you."She was leaning down on one knee by his car seat sitting in front of the couch on the floor where a table should be. I walked over beside him criss-cross on the floor...
"Unity? " he looked at me helplessly like he was trying to say something but he couldn't...
"Unitttyyyy? " I called him again to see if he would smile or dance like he used to when I came around, but he didn't … he just stared at me, his eyes were shaking like they do when he was having a minor seizure.
" No he's just looking at me, his eyes are shaking though, " I told her as she came to sit next to me. "His lips are blue like he needs oxygen, I think we need to call the ambulance." We called his nurse, she came and checked his oxygen tube and machine and said he was fine, so we second-guessed ourselves and waited to see if he would snap out of it....but he didn't. So we called the ambulance and the closest hospital was Memorial and as we waited for the doctors mom decided to reach his father. I was left alone with my brother...something didn't feel right.

Out of all the code reds for some reason, I felt this one was different. This heavy set brunet nurse came in with at least four or three doctors they all surrounded my brother's hospital bed with a bunch of tubes and other tools to try to fix him. They started off by taking out his oxygen tube in his nose.
I interrupted them "uhh I don't think you're supposed to take that out." I was concerned that he couldn't breathe without it. The nurse came over to me with an irritated look on her face. She knelt down on one knee by my chair.
"Hun, how old are you? " she tried to smile
"Eight, " I said trying to see what the doctors were doing to my brother, they had some blue thing connected to the tubes in his mouth that looked like a ball and they were squeezing it to pump air.
"Ok sweetie these doctors have been doing this for years longer than you were born, don't worry your brother will be fine." I knew she was talking to me like I was ignorant but I decided to trust her and take it as my last piece of hope until I heard …
"Beep BeBeep Beeeeeeepppp..." the doctors step back from his bed and left out the room. I didn't believe it was true.....Was that the sound of my baby brother leaving me? Is he truly gone? ...
The nurse came back into the room walked over to his bedside and took the blue ball thing out of his mouth...She picked him up and put him in my arms... she knelt down in front of me and my dead brother and said...
"SMILE."