ONElia AVElar

Rookie - 12 Points (Bulgaria)

second PRIME


Dig into pockets of the time,

take out all memories,

collected in your prime;

unzip the horizon

and let them slowly

through the line,

that separates apparently

the earth from sky.

The chance for second prime,

like two dawns for a day,

is maybe worth a try?

Submitted: Monday, January 12, 2009
Edited: Friday, October 02, 2009

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  • Rookie Ashraful Musaddeq (5/22/2009 1:18:00 PM)

    'Dig into pockets of the time,
    take out all memories,
    collected in your prime; '

    A beautiful poem. First three lines are wonderful.
    Nice imagery is used,10++ with pleasure. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 183 Points Palas Kumar Ray (1/26/2009 12:27:00 PM)

    ***_________________________________________________________________
    Profond and mysterious yet very lovely to read. A sense of illussion is created.
    _________________________________________________________________*** (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Naseer Ahmed Nasir (1/20/2009 1:57:00 PM)

    A beautiful poem with brand new fresh imagery. There is always a chance of second chance in life. The first one is real and the second one is surreal. This poem itself reflects that second chance. Really good one Onelia.........10/10.
    Best Wishes
    Naseer (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 36 Points Donall Dempsey (1/19/2009 6:59:00 AM)

    Dug into my pockets of superlatives but couldn't come up with something to match that great unzipping line. You will now be held responsible for all the people attempting to unzip an horizon. Back on top...form. Great poem great images and that great line. You are a prime number...I'm more an imaginary number! You are One to the power of two! Ave! Ave!

    love Dónall Dónall (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Janice Windle (1/17/2009 3:56:00 PM)

    Something about a new year that makes us meditate on time and change... I'm finding the same theme in my mind at the moment. This is a very good poem, Onelia - the unzipping inmage is so surreal and the idea of starting again, as though reality is more malleable than it seems, is a lovely one. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie '...' ... (1/12/2009 7:55:00 PM)

    Agree with Helen... lock stock and whole commentary barrel.. perfectly clever.. 'unzip of horizon'... yes also...
    a second prime.. split from a tertiary level thought bank of yours..... great to see your dawns......: ~) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 5 Points Paolo Giuseppe Mazzarello (1/12/2009 11:53:00 AM)

    Some thoughts for this fine poem as well as our dear author: 'Dig into pockets of the time' 'Vois se pencher les défuntes Années' BAUDELAIRE. ''The earth from sky' 'There are more things in heaven and hearth' SHAKESPEARE. 'Like two dawns for a day' 'I saw a new sky and a new earth' ISAIAH. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 1 Points Original Unknown Girl (1/12/2009 4:49:00 AM)

    Wise words Onelia. Lovely to see your name up on the 'new posts' again. I enjoyed this... especially the unzipping of the horizon. Most unique. HG: -) xx (Report) Reply

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