Santa And Me Poem by George Hunter

I didn't like Santa when I was young,
Whenever I saw him I stuck out my tongue.
Guess I was just a mean ole kid
Wherever I saw him I went and hid.
He never left joy when I was a boy
Never ever gave me a Christmas toy.
He told me, Being good should be my goal,
And then he left me a lump of coal.
One time that fat old sum witch
Only left me a hickory switch.
I told him, Don't come around here no more,
When I heard him coming I'd lock the door.
Once he tried to come down the stack,
I built a big fire and forced him back.
‘Cause I don't need nothin' from his sack,
I told him to go and smoke his crack.
I once sent a letter to the North Pole
And asked him to bring me a tootsie roll.
Instead when I opened up my sock
All I found was a dirty rock.
A note said "Only good little boys
Are eligible to get nice Christmas toys."
I thought, at this game I'm not a rookie
And I left him a glass of sour milk and a mouldy cookie.
Next Christmas, when I went to the loo
I thought of a nasty thing to do.
I left him a glass of good cheer,
It was yellow and foamy and resembled beer.
He took a big swig and spit it out quick,
That time I fooled that old St. Nick.

I'm older now and know what to believe
No longer a child that adults deceive.
Once I grew up and learned the score
I'm not bothered by that superstition anymore.