Sales Ethics Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

The salesman looked at me and grinned.
'You make me laugh, you really do.
The question is, can I sell wind
to unsuspecting buyers, you
ought to admit that what we sell
needs only to be marketed.
And if it has a pretty shell,
but junk inside we must not fret.
It is the salesman's highest goal
to screw at work more than at home.
He lives and breathes his proud role,
he lets them think he is a gnome,
just struggling to make ends meet,
his wife needs urgent operations,
his kids have nearly zilch to eat.
His car impounded at the station,
and how this sale would seal his fate.
If it fell through he'd take a rope,
he mentions that it's getting late
and that he's losing all his hope.

But then, a smile transforms his face,
crow's feet show new enthusiasm,
the product, selling by the case..
(now pausing, tiny coughing spasm) ,
you would be foolish not to buy.
But I can tell you're way above me
and you would see through any lie.
Some customers do say they love me,
well, almost time to say good-bye.

Oh Sir, I do have admiration,
God bless you, you are very kind.
I see you do know 'bout inflation,
it puts the slow ones right behind
the eightball, if I may be frank.
You Sir, however, see right through
and take your profits to the bank.

In closing, once again, for YOU:
It is essential that you must
be willing to be clever screwers.
A penny earned will never rust,
a penny saved goes down the sewers.'