Returning From Vacation Poem by Randy McClave

When I return home from my vacation overseas
Only souvenirs I will bring back, I swear will be trinkets and a shirt,
I will not be bringing back any expensive articles or souvenirs
Especially a scheming foreign woman wearing a kilt or a skirt;
Unworried and cheerfully I will expediently go through customs
And I will dance through there happily and also duty free,
As I will not be bringing back any heartaches for me or anyone
And especially no worries for my friends or my country;
I will not ever bring back another woman home with me again
When I return from this, or any other overseas vacation trip,
That situation my family and friends remind me of constantly
All I want are happy memories, and not another dismal courtship;
When I am at customs and I am asked if I have anything to declare
I will nod my head up and down, and reply with a certainty, 'yes', 'I do',
I will say that I am happy and excited to be back home once again
And the only woman I want to see is in New York, and she's a statue.

Randy L. McClave