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Retirement Party

My departure I was told needed to be celebrated,
Their loss I was told needed to be obliterated,
What better way than for us to get inebriated?
My tragic loss needed to be well commiserated,
They figured a golden pen, plaque, or watch.
God forbid a wad of cash or a good bottle of scotch.
A few fake smiles here, a few pats on the back there,
A few blank stares here, a few awkward hugs there,
Then finally a chance comes to drop all of the pretense,
What better way than to make a lot of jokes at my expense?
Suddenly unexpectedly their curiosity bursts from within,
And so the interrogation excuse me thoughtful questions begin.
'What are you going to do now? 'they all want to know,
Apparently, I've become their private one person freak show.
'Is it finally over? Can I finally go? ' I foolishly ask.
They reply, 'It’s only been three hours tsk, tsk, tsk,
You can’t go just yet, not before we had the speeches? '
Oh yes, silly me how could I leave before the speeches.
I have to give one too, “Ahem, my dear parasites and leeches,
Oops sorry, I meant to say, my dear boss and cohorts,
What can I say but time flies and life is too short,
Goodbye job—I can honestly say I have no deep regret,
This place of course will take many years to forget.
I really must say thanks so much to one if not all,
I anticipate it will be a burden to write or call,
But don’t you worry I won’t let this upset me,
Not after you threw me this great retirement party! ”

© 2013 Copyright Elena Plotkin

Submitted: Friday, February 21, 2014
Edited: Wednesday, March 05, 2014

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