Repetitive, Repetitive Poem by Dakota Ellerton

I lean on the door,
and slide down to the floor.
I'm trembling, I'm desperate.
I can almost feel my heart dropp to my stomach.
'Sailing to paradise when I close my eyes.'
The music is as repetitive as my thoughts.
Relief...
I'm craving it.
My fingers tap against my leg,
my eyes jump around the room.
Where did I put it?
I jump to my feet,
and start pulling things off the shelves.
Where are they, where are my razors? !
I'm about to have a breakdown...
Falling to my knees,
I reach into my bag,
and grab a screwdriver instead.
I'm almost proud of myself,
for thinking of such a solution.
A lighter, a candle,
always things I hide in my bathroom.
Within minutes,
I've got the smell of burnt flesh filling my lungs.
If only this were enough,
to fill my desires.
My arm is black and red,
swollen and angry.
I cover my wounds,
and casually walk down to the kitchen.
I could plaster on a smile,
and make brief conversation without a hint.
I return to the bathroom,
where my pills are hidden.
'I'm Mr. Solo Dolo.'
Repetitive...repetitive... I'm so repetitive.