inas essa


Rejoicing and Dismay


Whether it is brimmed with
Sorrow water or sweet tears,
Give your eye a chance
To glisten and reflect what you really feel!
Have the guts to show
Your defeat deep within;
Cracks in your heart
And starving whimpering spirit.
Fill the horizon with joy
And hop to reach the sky,
Let your stream of happiness
Drown gloomy souls and wakeful eyes;
For who restrains his real feelings
Deep inside, away from the eyes
Turns nothing but an old gray weed
At the end of a long way
Lined with rejoicing and dismay.

Submitted: Saturday, April 12, 2014

Topic(s): feelings


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  • Rookie - 3 Points Inas Essa (4/14/2014 11:58:00 AM)

    Hello Ahmed,
    Thanks for your comment, I really appreciate it. But what I meant here is to be brief and to the point, not to show a specific problem and mention all its details. The main idea is the most important here.. To show your feeling.. whatever it is. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 67 Points Ahmed Abomahfouz (4/13/2014 3:27:00 PM)

    this time you presented the problem very well.. however your ante-venom was not enough to heal.. and this weakened the poem.
    i (think! !) the poem can be strong by presenting a problem. discussing it from many points of view showing all it its sides then let the listener think. rather than describing ineffective medication.
    (for example) the internist is who diagnose the diseaseand this is a major rule . but when the disease needs surgery he refers or make a consult. (Report) Reply

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