Reintroduced To The People I'Ve Been Introduced To Poem by Naledi Sibisi

I'm at home
On my own
With my thoughts
And my phone.
Red light flashing and I can't reply now,
Even though I know it's from the people who hold me down.
On the other side of the wall is my nephew J,
4 years old and he's the product of pain.
4 years ago he entered the world, innocent and light
But it's like the circumstances pushed him into the night.
So he walks around smiling but he can't even talk right,
I swear the battle in his mind is what forces him to cry.
He's only a child, he should be happy and care-free,
Instead he's bitter and scared and sometimes finds refuge in me.
But I can't even help because I feel just like he does,
19 years old and I don't know how to trust.
Well, I know how to trust. Just, not with all of me
It's just like when I love and I start to feel weak.
So I'm reintroduced to these people when I think this way,
‘Cause I start to wonder what turned me into this person today.
See it takes 2 to tango, that much I know
So I'm just as responsible for everyone's faults.
Family who was here but not really here,
Made it harder to admit that I needed the cheer.
And the friends who suddenly went silent on me,
I didn't let you in enough for you to believe me.
What goes around comes around and it's no cliche
So I refuse to keep up with this game of roulette.
I've taken enough shots and a few went to my heart,
Another emotional shot will just rip me apart.
It's a lethal game of chance and I don't want to play anymore
If it means one day I'm a stranger at your door.
In the rare event that we're reintroduced?
Hey, I'm Nal. And, I'm genuinely pleased to meet you.