Regretter Poem by Maya Hanson

I'm tired of being
the regretter
Can't I for once be
the regretted

No mistakes,
moving on,
the envied one,
the heartbreaker.

Sitting in the back of your mind,
an envelope opened a million years ago,
but still leaving glue stains
and broken words
written blindly, sleeplessly
in your past
that hurt so much.

I'm tired of being
the villain
Can't I for once be
the princess

Sitting in a tower,
no death sentence,
no daring feats,
no first moves.

I'm begging you
to see me
How blind can you be
with that hopeless tongue
speaking words I've never heard?

How clueless can you be
climbing out onto your front porch
with an old blue T-shirt on?
Not trying to impress me,
morning hair left untouched,
treating me like just another
girl.

Maybe I am
just another
girl.

I'll leave you alone
if you keep seeing
through me

I take back
all the things
I silently said

In the dark
I whispered words
I hope you never heard

You don't deserve them
anyway,
I'm just another girl.

I'm tired of being
the regretter,
leaving my tears
entangled in my pillow
and walking down the stairs
head held high.

I'm tired of being
the villain,
fighting and racing and climbing
never stopping
and nothing ever comes of it.

I can't find
a place with you
anymore.

Maybe I am
just the one millionth
regretter on your list.

Maybe I am
just another
girl.