Recent Thoughts I Poem by Demetrius JonesDixon

My face falls into hands
I look down onto the floor
Wondering what happened
It doesn't make a bit of sense
Every time I thought I had it
Apparently I didn't, numbers don't lie
Though I am trying to lie to myself
I look back up
I stare blankly
Just looking at the paper
Just makes me wanna spaz
Lose control and release the spinning anger
But I can't get mad at anyone but myself
No one did this to me, but myself
Taking it out on someone else is pointless
I'm trying, I really am
I don't want things to be like the past
I'm trying, I really am
I'm trying to get pass my self-doubt
Trying to step out of this shell
Trying not to lose faith in myself
Trying to keep my head up
I demand more of myself
I'm trying, I really am