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Realize that this is temporary

Funny. maybe if i actually cared,
i’d be sad.

oh, wait.

where’s the humor in that?
what’s wrong with me?
i’m on the verge of apathy
because i’ve overloaded on emotion again.

i feel wasted; i feel spent.
i don’t know how i feel.

maybe if i invented a new word,
you could understand.
with a new definition comes
a new brand of sadness.

you dug me as a hole and poured yourself into me
until i could hold no more of anything;
then left me out in the texas heat.

i think you were hoping for the sun
to sip your sorrow away, but i did that
the other night with my fifth drink.
empty again;

i’m ready for you to fill me up.
fill up again, please?

i miss feeling everything.

the happiness is great,
though i can’t complain
about the dark and blurred feelings
either.
how is sadness so addicting?
i crave it more than the joy you bring.
i could hurt you if i tried.

i have a script in my head of things i
want to say,
couldn’t say to you.

i want a lot, you ask for more.
i stay quiet, you get angry.
i don’t get mad anymore.

things are going back to “Before.”

step by step, we’re tracing the circumference
of our story. close to 360,
i wonder if we’ll go back to old conversations we never had
but should have.

maybe i’ll be sane again and
you’ll think i’m a good idea again.

funny how thing are wanted but not granted.
you can’t have anything

at all.

Submitted: Saturday, August 17, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, August 21, 2013


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