Re: Vacant Manager’s Position Poem by Khadim Hussain

22nd October 2009

The Chairman
Mr. Steve Gibson
Middlesbrough F.C.
Riverside Stadium
Middlesbrough TS3 6RS

Re: Vacant Manager’s Position

Dear Mr. Gibson
I would like to apply for Manager’s position in your club,
I’m not a football celebrity but that should be no reason for a snub.
I’m never been a manager at any level, not even the pub,
I know nothing about football, some pundits and fans
Would argue, I will be in good company and should be the man.

Gorden Strachan may be the favourite for Boro’s hot-seat
But the signing is not complete,
In 2009, the year of belt tightening, to be discreet,
I’ll work for a quarter of Southagte’s wage.
Honest I’m not saying it to rattle your cage!

Wasted money on expansive contracts, I can save
By hiring overseas interrogator
Used by MI5 and C.I.A as translator,
Although some times they us questionable methods
They have proved to be excellent mediator.

I’m used to pain and working under pressure,
I’ve been married twice and have six children
My older children still call me the thresher.

My appointment as manager
Would Win! Win! Win! Win! Win!
For all,

I hope you’ll agree that I’m the best candidate.
‘Or even quite a catch! ’ ha, ha, ha.
Yours Sincerely

Khadim Hussain