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I will construct a floating device a la Huckleberry Finn, with all feasible comforts for you, put a bit made of rusty chain into my mouth to keep things chaste and above water and tow you down toward freedom, while frequently stopping, and, with bit left in place and distance of 2.88 meters maintained, point out all landscape highlights. When the villain named Raeuber Henning, who lived on top of the Heldrastein cliff and terrorised the region, he absconded a maiden took her into the cave with him, ..... and any would be rescuers were hurled down from the cliff to certain death 1000 meters below, I will refrain from mentioning that he kept her for anything but her cooking skills and possibly to have his cave dusted and kept tidy.
Then, after looking at your loveliness, inevitable while towing you downriver, as soon as the recognition of certain infatuatory feelings takes place, the float will be turned around and I will proceed UP-river. That will keep things under control mainly due to the extra effort required.
When we reach an intermediate destination, reaching into my pack to retrieve the good book and reading to you from it will be the logical thing to do. Happy now?
Remember, you will always be safe with me, even in deeper waters, and -come to think of it- not that I am dear Abby, but I will have at least one complete ear for you, so let it be heard on both banks of the river which reminds of Babylon, I am always home for you.
Herbert Nehrlich
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