Questions Poem by Cati Walthall

I have to many questions
But I'm not seeking for the anwsers
I'm depressed
But I don't want to be happy
I'm anxious
But I don't want to be calmed
I'm pissed
But I'm not wanting to give up the anger
It's to scary to look away
And its a high to feel low
its because its dangerous
And I feel like there's no control
As long as it's not in my hands
I guess it doesn't matter
Just gonna sit here,
Letting depression take its toll
When it's done
I'll feel bad
But atlease I'll have a few days
(If I'm lucky)
To pick myself up again
Only to be brought back down
Straight through the clouds
finding myself not wanting anwsers
Not looking for happiness
Gave up on staying calm
And isn't going to give up the fight