Public Health Poem by Gareth Glyn Roberts

I gave a public health talk in Pontefract
By golly I read them the riot act
But the crowd began to disperse
And their health just gets worse and worse

I gave a public health talk in Oldham
I told ‘em and told ‘em and told ‘em
But nobody took any notice
It was like I had halitosis

I gave a public health talk in Rotherham
By ‘eck did I bully and bother ‘em
In front of the public health board
But I was politely ignored

I gave a public health talk in Clitheroe
Oh boy I went at them like Billy-o
But the hall emptied in two seconds flat
And all that was left was a dog and a cat

I did a public health talk in Lewes
Harangued them to stay off the booze
But my passionate pleas they did snub
And they all went off to the pub

I did a public health talk in Holmfirth
Chastised them for all it was worth
But they saw the whole thing as a joke
And all went outside for a smoke

I packed in public health talks up North
Got fed up of holding forth
And so to the South I diverted
Now I'm preaching to the converted.