Pride And Pain Poem by Danny Draper

A dream unfled and smoothed the cheat
and soon soothed out all pained conceit,
And nagging memories of old faux pas
Are often noticed like keloid scars,
Rationalized and shrugged as passed
And yet they surface and ever last,
To think of what we might have said
An instant shame so long since dead,
And yet it lives and we retain
And replay o'er the guilt filled pain,
Embarasent as self resent'
No torturer's time was better spent,
Than that self inflicted underwent
Drowning in self loathings' current.

The sustained harm and return,
Anguish is dark's best sojourn
To leave bones cold in loveless ash
And mull self loathing without cash,
No one cares or recalls
But we catalogue as yesterday
And little provocations tuck away
So to gauge our self restraint,
Boundaries to manners or mores,
So to enact decorums mark,
Or within, relive another flagrant remark.

We smooth as silk transgress and pass
Company in carriage our inferiors class,
To have and consume without offence
Unctuous tongues deliverance
And dream on days wide open eyes
Opportunity without compromise,
The deeds that nag and words that rust
And pit and gnaw at sacred trust
Flaking away kind sanity
Leaving detritus and inanity.

Slick the confines can't reveal
Any sense of dream or real
All is good and superlunary
How good the present tense?
It must be real the gold libation
Validates the situation
Remuneration beyond station,
Only reality could check this situation.

It must be real, who would believe...?
Why would sleepy fantasy deceive?
The Peter principle years expand
No closed eyes on demand
No hint of drama or privation,
Or waking's assurance of redacted fantasy,
No exhausted collapse could this construe
Nor expired dream of poverty,
Hence this must be reality,
Where skill and wit did both transpire
To beyond the apex take me higher
And in those days
A lost daydream
Where real and blended fantasy seem
Until the notion in resignation he spake,
'Yes this is real, I am awake! '
And inconceivable
A moments' baking,
Unfathomable tears, uncontrollable shaking
United with not friend, nor stranger,
Isolated, inevitable by ones own making
Mania stokes unwelcome danger,
Forgiveness denied as
Anxiety's penance for regret that
Diurnal utterances will not estrange from
Throbbing cliche's aching persistent stream',
And again, he wishes it all a dream.

Danny Draper 20/2/2014