Pretending To Be Okay Poem by ESPN CHICK

Screaming at the top of my lungs
Confused and lost
Broken and torn apart
Pretending to be alright but the truth of the matter is
I'm not alright

Can you see behind my two eyes
That I've hidden nothing but lies
Nothing but broken dreams
Behind my two eyes lies all my hopes

Figured out that's all I got left
Cause no one has ever tried to see through these eyes
With tears flowing down my face

Trying to be strong
But really what is strong anyways
And it feels like I'm getting weaker
By the minutes by the days

I just wanted to feel whole
Guess nothing will ever make me feel whole
Living life by pretending to be okay

But the truth of the matter is I'm not okay
Never have been and never will be
Always been broken and bruised
Everyone says all the wrong things

Guess I will forever pretend
Keep saying I'm okay when I'm not
No one will ever notice anyways

No one will ever notice the broken smiles
Every-time I think I'm better I keep getting bruised
Feels like I wanna cut again
But I can't force myself to pick that knife up once again

Although I know it would feel good
It would sooth me but I will try my hardest not to go back to it
Just feels like my whole world is crashing down again and I don't know what else to do

March 5&6,2008