Poor Aunt Maude Poem by Allie Lusha

POOR AUNT MAUDE

Sitting bored I sat and sighed
How inconvenient old aunt Maud had died
I wouldn’t be here if the old bat was still talking
Watching the relatives sipping and walking
Gestures of sadness filled the room
When holding a drink George fell over a broom
Sister sue was covered in sherry
Everyone shrieked when George landed on Jerry

Jerry was happy, as he thought his luck had changed
Poor old George blushed as their looks exchanged
Not a sigh, no one was bored
They were all running around
Look like they had ants in their pants good lord
In all their excitement someone passed wind
Open a window lets have a glass of gin
I wonder who knocked Aunt Maud’s ashes in the bin

Oh my gawd what a sin auntie’s ashes in the bin
No one noticed as the gin began to flow
Sue once on the sherry was now snogging Joe
They all looked on with smiley faces
Jerry now tipsy was tweaking Malcolm’s braces
What a farce I jumped up quick
Not one to miss an opportunity click, click, click
Poor aunt Maud in the bin covered in George’s puking sick