Poltergeists On The Move Poem by Tom Billsborough

If I became a ghost
I think I'd be a poltergeist
Playing silly jokes.
I've had some practice.
Once a friend of ours
Persisted in leaving her house unlocked.
Despite my wife's persuasive powers.
One day we passed her pad
And noticing her car not there
We had
A smart idea to stage a sudden raid.
"Back door's open, " my good lady said.
So in we crept like crafty housebreakers.
I lit a large cigar and smoked a bit
As she moved furniture around
And washed some pots
As our friend was in the habit
Of letting dust pile up upon her plates.
I stubbed out my cigar and let it rest
Upon an ashtray full of old cork tips
And changed the angles of a photograph or two.
"That will do, " we said as we admired our works
And quickly exited like a couple of real jerks.
The upshot of it was she figure out in minutes
Who'd been in her house. Amazing... innit?
She knew us well and wise to our last prank
She whizzed around and to be quite frank
Told us we were useless poltergeists.
And then she laughed so much
She nearly split her tights.
And yet our silly efforts weren't in vain.
She never left her house unlocked again!