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Peeing In The Sink by Herbert Nehrlich

1/7/2009 8:51:13 PM
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Herbert Nehrlich
(04 October 1943 / Germany)
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Peeing In The Sink
 
  With heavy heart I do admit
I pee (but never ever shit)
into the sink, but just at home.
Occasionally I hit the comb
and once, the toothbrush got a sprinkle.

My spouse, she hates it when I tinkle
not in the gadget called a throne
I do it only when alone
and, let me tell you why she fumes
no wild contortions she assumes
she simply cannot reach that height
though once I saw her when she tried.

I did suggest she use a tube
or stand on a large Rubik's cube
but even pressed against the ledge
what's missing was the leading edge!
Now I would never use my tassle
in such a way in someone's castle.

You see, the sink drains into metal
an S-shaped pipe unlike a kettle,
and even half a litre will
not be sufficient here to fill
the lower vertical completely.
Thus, it would sit in there and neatly
release its aromatic fumes
into the hallway and the rooms.

Unless one runs the tap for thirty
or forty seconds, it stays dirty,
and then there is that yellow stain
which shows against the white so plain.

Suspicion grows inside a host
when peeing ought to take at most
a couple minutes and no more....
perhaps he'll listen through the door!

I have, on very rare occasions
used sinks in houses of Caucasians,
but due to my advancing years
and after one too many beers.

I usually just sit and nibble
on snacks but later on a dribble
released by order of a gland
it's the residual, understand (?) ,

keeps coming, taking its sweet time
in men who've lived beyond their prime.
I hope you all have understood
why women would, well...if they could

and men would aim a little higher
(he who denies it is a liar) .
You see we Krauts are fond of saying
there is no use in hoping, praying......

no shaking, tapping, squeezing, willing
can keep the final dropp from spilling.

Herbert Nehrlich


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Ernestine Northover (5/10/2007 3:51:00 PM)
Would you sink so low Herbert! ! I feel you might be going down the drain. Ha! Perhaps a cork might be the answer, but I'm sure the relief is worth using this unusual form of recepticle, and or course there is always the convenience of it. It is obviously the right solution to your ablutions. Great write as usual from your pen............! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Love Ernestine XXX
Sidi Mahtrow (5/10/2007 7:16:00 AM)
Well Herb you've hit the spot
That most don't even think about
It's the where and why
In the night that makes men cry
For you see
When at night one takes a pee
The light is so much better there
Than on the throne like chair
Where the decision must be
Whether to sit or stand when taking a pee
Too much mind work at this time
Makes it difficult to hit the target on a dime
It's so much easier to just address
The sink and relieve yourself from stress
And once the flow begins to start
(One can even do it in the dark)
The satisfaction of knowing that
You've mastered with eclat
The mission that you came to do
Now remember to wash you hands of drippings few
And with this mission accomplished, sure
You've saved some five gallons of water or more
And doing something for the planet's care
A green for sure you are
How proud you must be
That in addition to poetry
You've made your statement of how it goes
When the urine begins to floe.

s

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