Treasure Island

Charlotte Eyre


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Past Aside


When a girl never seduced
Called the loner, my self-esteem reduced

Always left aside to watch and weep
Can't count how many times I cried myself to sleep

Without knowing, I became easy
For every man who was far too cheesy

Felt happy at night when between ones sheets
Sad the next day, when back in the streets

Something had to happen, then and fast
I had to make this present my shameful past

Though I can't change the reputation that's stained
I changed my life and my pride was regained

Submitted: Wednesday, August 08, 2012
Edited: Monday, August 13, 2012

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  • Jayatissa K. Liyanage (8/15/2014 11:09:00 PM)

    Bold expression of genuine feelings of n honest soul. I admire the brevity with which feelings were let out. It has most of the qualities of a readable poem. Nice write. (Report) Reply

  • Terry Craddock (8/15/2014 4:43:00 PM)

    I loved this poem by Charlotte Eyre. I thought the title 'Past Aside' was brilliant as an introduction to the catchy clever lines, When a girl never seduced/ Called the loner, my self-esteem reduced. Charlotte then raised the tension stakes with the play upon the title left aside with a sad heart tugging Always left aside to watch and weep/ Can't count how many times I cried myself to sleep. The tragedy of heart wrenching loneliness justifies and explains the moral slip of falling into an easy lay Without knowing, I became easy/ For every man who was far too cheesy. This adds pathos extra sympathy for the innocence, which is taken used and abused by cheesy men.
    Who cannot understand the pull and compensation of surrogate love, in place of real love and the loneliness, Felt happy at night when between ones sheets/ Sad the next day, when back in the streets is a further expansion, upon the misuse of innocence by cheesy men who use this young girl then throw her away. But can a young heart continue with such abuse or will respect and self esteem demand an eventual life change. The answer is yes Something had to happen, then and fast/ I had to make this present my shameful past and again the line is succinct witty and clever. If the poem is intended to have an interesting redemption moral, how could it be written in an entertaining concluding punch line way. The final stanza Though I can't change the reputation that's stained/ I changed my life and my pride was regained warns, that nasty judgmental people will gossip but not forgive or forget easily. The brevity and simplicity of this poem is masterful, some might read and think that such vernacular diction is simplistic, they would be wrong! This poem is a wonderful read it and weep moral lesion with a nice rhyme scheme aa bb cc dd ee aa.10+++ Charlotte :) (Report) Reply

  • Donna Donna (8/15/2013 7:19:00 PM)

    you have to work and use the computer and internet, and if you can do that and dedicate some time each day then you can do this with no problem. I have been working with this for a month and have made over $2,000 already. let me know if you need more here you go..[a href=http: //www.bar17.com]click here[/a] (Report) Reply

  • Arnav Gogoi (8/15/2013 12:01:00 PM)

    well done....good portrayal of the predicament of a girl who treads on a wrong path and although now she tries to make her present the past which I really liked your use of this expression, a stained image in society can never be completely washed of its stains no matter how much you try...In sociological terms you call it labeling theory, proposed by Durkheim...No wonder it is related to criminology, but I guess this theory is applicable to all the facets of breaching of societal norms...It's really hard to get on life albeit when you have made some mistakes that society looks down upon...Good write (Report) Reply

  • Charlotte Eyre (8/15/2012 1:57:00 PM)

    I get why you think the rhymes are a bit contrived. Since English is not my mother tongue, neither a language I use every day, it's a bit hard for me to find new words that are less common. I'm working on expanding my vocabulary, but until then I'm a bit forced to use the words I know. (Report) Reply

  • Leslie Philibert (8/15/2012 10:00:00 AM)

    Not too sure about this, the motives are fine, as is the moral position at the end, but some of the rhymes are very
    heavy and contrived, easy and cheesy tend a bit to the comic, or is it so intended? and I am misreading this... (Report) Reply

  • Veeraiyah Subbulakshmi (8/15/2012 4:54:00 AM)

    Those who have chosen the wrong path, can change themselves very easily, if they have the will power, though their stained reputation is hard to be changed. Ultimately people may forgive and forget, even a hooker had been blessed as a saint in the History of Christian Saints which I used to hear during our prayer times in my school days year after year. (Report) Reply

  • Donald Kuutsi (8/11/2012 4:52:00 PM)

    brilliant thoughts dear! ! ! you spazzed thats reality you have potraiyed coz a lot of girls figure it all wrong nice work keep it up (Report) Reply

  • Charlotte Eyre (8/10/2012 5:20:00 PM)

    Thank you Kelly Seale. It's not necessarily a poem about my life, but I had some emotions I had to get rid of and what's a better way to do it than by writing? I hope my poem inspires people though, because I thing a lot of young girls get used to such a lifestyle too fast and I want them to know that there's a way out. (Report) Reply

  • Kelly Seale (8/8/2012 5:56:00 PM)

    This is an amazing write! Filled with regret, yet self-awareness. I admire your courage to face your demons and devils, your punisher and rewards. Great Ink Charlotte!
    -Kelly - Please read my words at your leisure.
    -Kelly (Report) Reply

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