Outside Poem by Sharilynn Dawn Reaser

Outside looking in
Hands and face against dark glass
Trying to see inside
At the party going on

Hands and face against dark glass
Standing in the storm
Trying to see the party going on
Worlds behind her pale gray eyes

Standing in the storm
A frail looking creature
Worlds behind her pale gray eyes
The rain drips through her thin dark hair

A frail looking creature
Heart saddened
The rain drips through her thin dark hair
Her lips tremble

Heart saddened
The world dances in front of her
Her lips tremble
She holds a mental book

The world dances in front of her
She shivers and looks at the ground
She holds a mental book
Painfully the book opens

She shivers and looks at the ground
Stories she sees in memory
Painfully the book opens
Stories of long ago

Stories she sees in memory
Of those who demanded what they wouldn't give
Stories of long ago
Stories of bullies who gave what they wouldn't accept

Of those who demanded what they wouldn't give
Stories effecting today
Stories of bullies who gave what they wouldn't accept
Written on many a page

Stories affecting today
Of statements made
Written on many a page
Lashes both seen and not

Of statements made
Scars unseen
Lashes both seen and not
Unknown to the modern crowd

Scars unseen
They say don't be who you are
Unknown to the modern crowd
She stands trying to be strong

They say don't be who you are
Be me
She stands trying to be strong
It is hard

Be me
Another form of disapproval
It is hard
She rubs her arms as she hugs herself
With that big dusty book

Another form of disapproval
She tries hard to be strong
With that big dusty book
Watching without being idle

She tries to be strong
And some say she is
Watching without being idle
Be your own parent they say

Some say she is strong
She's doing her best
But she fears abandonment
Out in the windy dark storm
And the book is full of signatures
By those who said they'd stay and didn't

Because they didn't understand
And she didn't want to explain everything

Or they were one of the bullies written about in the book
Who were so careless and thoughtless
Who haven't made it right

She struggles on
And hopefully
Someday
She won't feel like she's

Outside looking in