Outloud Poem by Suraj Samtani

I was earlier sitting there, &
Just giving blankness a deep stare.

I was thinking about going on stage, &
I visualised myself finally turning that page.

Then I was wondering,
What would I be saying?

Would it be inspiring? Or
Would it be boring?

Would I ever impress you all? Or
Would I have yet another downfall?

Clearly, I was combating my stage fright to no avail,
As I saw my facade of confidence smoothly sail.

I'm still up here though, just
As some of you were, a minute ago.
Trying to muster a show,
I alas realize that the battle is just with my ego.

In a minute I'll be back down, &
Play audience to yet another anxious speaker.
Similarly, he'll make me the cause of his frown, &
Similarly, he'll amplify his fear louder and louder.

He'll try to please me, and
He'll try to impress me.

He'll use me, and
He'll abuse me.

But I hope he realizes, that it's not me, &
I hope he realizes, that only he can set himself free.

Just like I am.
Just like I did.