Outdoor Concerts Poem by Michael Philips

I call the new prepackaged popsters the musical equivilent of an organ grinders monkey. I love the line 'rock n roll seizure'. I think I maybe experiencing envy at your talent. Just a second...Yep i have tinge of jealousy corsing thru my veins...coupled with a desire to break something.

Hi Michael, first of all let me say that I love the concept of this piece and where it goes..how it transcends generations and bridges the gap between a father and his child. As I was reading it a few things came to mind, for one I'm a sucker for brevity. That's not to say I can't appreciate a long poem, it just means I tend to admire poets who can say so much with so little. To be honest, your opening stanza is slightly boring when compared to the rest of the poem. In fact, I'd be so bold as to say you don't even need it. I think if you start the poem off here: 'Turning upwards my teenage eyes strummed the power chords of stars and light years and let all light move outwards in all directions from each star' You'll pull the reader in. There are parts of the poem that are very elegant and almost dream like, and then there are parts that sort of snuff out the magic. I don't think you really need the dancing Pepsi sign line...but it's your poem, so do whatever feels best for you. I think however the poem reads prier to the ending is almost insignificant when one considers the gravity of the final image.. Perfect ending, based on it I'd give this poem a 9.5 at least... Always, Amberlee

Outstanding poem. I really love this.