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Valsa George


Once Upon a Time


There stood a castle on the summit of a hill
Now fallen to decay, hidden among bushes wild
It perched like an eagle’s nest among the hills
........................
........................
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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Inspired by Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman

Comments about this poem (Once Upon a Time by Valsa George )

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  • Freshman - 1,219 Points Ken E Hall (8/5/2014 4:57:00 AM)

    Unusual fairy tale with an unhappy ending pity the poets skill could have given the cavalier a bigger sword..very well composed with the best title of all time...regards (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 16 Points Cleveland Gibson (1/16/2014 10:29:00 AM)

    Well, Madam I got past the @Once upon a time' and I was hooked to the very end. You have a ballad here, as in the olde days. That is good because you storytelling skills paint a rich canvas. I'm jealous. I want to get my hand on what I read. But then it is such good stuff/ Aside I saw your note on inspiration. Good for Alfred Noyes. He certainly got you going. I applaud your efforts in entertaining us.
    Thank you
    Cleveland (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 24 Points Dee Corpolongo (12/22/2013 11:43:00 PM)

    Wow...an amazing fairy tale of true love gone tragically wrong....Excellent job done here.
    You gave amazing descriptions to each scene, leaving one to easily imagine it all. Thank you~ (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 6,774 Points * Sunprincess * (12/18/2013 4:57:00 PM)

    ...pretty sure they must have chosen Friday the 13th for their wedding...I wish
    they would have planned a different date......Shakespeare and I are both
    in awe with this tragic love story....adding this one to my favourites... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 954 Points Kee Thampi (12/13/2013 11:19:00 AM)

    a old story in a pleasing style....
    The castle still stands on the summit of the hill
    Now fallen to decay, buried among trees
    People say; they see a cavalier mounted on a black steed
    Riding to the castle at midnight like blowing breeze
    I love it again (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 222 Points Marie Shine (12/13/2013 8:00:00 AM)

    Wow! A very poignant love story, excellently crafted and beautifully narrated. Like a Fairy Story, I expected a 'Happy Ever After' ending, so the twist at the end of the poem took me totally unawares! Simile, alliteration, metaphor very well used and the imagery paints each scene for your reader in striking detail. Wonderful work, Valsa. Thank you for sharing. Blessings always... (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,319 Points Geetha Jayakumar (12/12/2013 1:34:00 PM)

    Touching write with sad ending, I could picturise it very well, the way you wrote is captivating. Loved it. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,757 Points Hazel Durham (12/12/2013 6:44:00 AM)

    Captivating write with beautiful lines of a fairy tale with a sad ending, it reads so intense and real! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 2,244 Points Patricia Grantham (12/12/2013 5:56:00 AM)

    A really good fairy tale Val. Each line was depicted in such good details.
    A sad story of a prince and princess in the form of a bride and groom.
    At first I thought the bride was stood up until I read further along I found
    out that the groom was ambushed. A n excellent tale of loved and sorrow.
    An intense reading and I felt like I was there. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 199 Points Kavya . (12/12/2013 4:27:00 AM)

    what a fantastic write mam, ....each line carried me away to the distant hills, to the sound of the galloping horse...u have created such a wonderful poem seemed like i was watching a Flash movie.......an excellent write as always (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 416 Points Shahzia Batool (12/12/2013 1:20:00 AM)

    the right paraphernalia...grim winter night, dim candle light, coals burning hot, story of this sort, apparent calm n relief, free of all chores, willing suspension of disbelief, enjoying increasing tensions, the pleasure suited to the story, listening to the voice inflections, looking at the changing complexions...feeling, what u made us feel, the aching pleasure...the lovely write coming from you, with all the units of a traditional fairy tale... (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,206 Points Pradip Chattopadhyay (12/12/2013 12:58:00 AM)

    a mesmerizing poem spun around a fairytale of love and loss!
    the poem heightens the tragedy with superb imageries. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,953 Points Valerie Dohren (12/11/2013 5:28:00 AM)

    A lovely but very sad story, just like a fairy tale. Enjoyed very much Valsa - well done. (Report) Reply

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