On The Lam Poem by David Lewis Paget

On The Lam



‘I'm going away today, ' he said,
‘I'm going away for good! '
We looked at his suitcase, neatly packed,
‘We don't really think you should! '

‘It doesn't matter a fig to me
Whatever you want me to,
I said that I'm going away, I did,
And that's what I'm going to do.'

The wife looked beat, admitted defeat,
And stalked back into the house,
While I sat down on the garden wall
And stomped on the odd wood louse.

‘So where do you think you'll spend the night
When it comes to the end of the day,
When the Moon comes up and the lights go out
And the Wolves begin to bay? '

He sulked, ‘I'll be on a pirate ship,
With Long John What's-is-name,
I'll sit right up in the Crows Nest
Spotting the ships on the Spanish Main.'

‘But what if a cannonball takes your leg
And chops it off at the knee,
They've got no doctors on pirate ships
Out in that terrible sea.'

‘Well, maybe I won't, ' he faltered,
Maybe I'll go to the Hemlock Inn,
And sup on the stuff that pirates sup
And get me a mug of gin! '

‘I think it's rum that you're thinking of,
And that's some terrible stuff,
It causes your head to twirl and spin
‘Til your ears come falling off.'

‘I'll ride on a double-decker bus,
I'll do what I want to do,
Nothing you say will change my mind
I'm not going to live with you! '

‘That's sad, I'll just have to eat them all,
Those humbugs up in the jar,
And the fairy cakes that your mother makes
While I'm looking up at the stars.'

‘That's it, I'm going away, ' he said,
‘I'm taking off on the Lam.'
‘Be careful the police don't pick you up,
They turn little boys to jam! '

He headed off to the first Lamp Post,
Then stopped, and swivelled to see,
If I was following with my eyes,
But I'd turned my gaze to a tree.

He took another few faltering steps,
Then turned and wandered back home,
‘I thought I'd stay for the fairy cakes,
I'm not quite ready to roam.'

The dog came out and he bounded up
And they played around on the lawn,
I called out, ‘Mother, the pirate's back,
His ship was lost in a storm! '

30 November 2012

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David Lewis Paget

David Lewis Paget

Nottingham, England/live in Australia
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