S.zaynub Kamoonpuri


Ode to the Salty tear


O' Salty tear, a mere clear drop that you are
You've emerged for a million different reasons
many of which only the shedder knows
for you've emerged in all seasons.

The season of sadness or reason of joy
the tears of grief and the tears of joy
You and your unalloyed saline taste
thou art' but an emotional waste.

O'Salty tear each time you drop into oblivion
why not vanish away with your shedder's grief?
I tell you O' tear if you're to take my opinion
oughtn't you grant your shedder full relief?

Ah but thou art' a ceaseless ocean in reserve and store
No one can be sure, he'll cry no more
When you trickle down those sad upturned lips
we know destiny perhaps made those painful slips!

You are the raindrops of a grief-clouded heart
You do emerge when two lovers have to part

Help your shedder turn over a new leaf
so you're associated less with grief.

I've watched many a jilted lover
weep all alone by the sea-side most sorrowfully
and watched tears glide down noses or pince-nez
as their salty tears merged into the salty sea.

O' Salty tear but it's time you learnt to wash away
all and any poignancy from your shedder's heart
and be such a buddy who never wishes to meet again
the tearful shedder from whom you depart!

Submitted: Friday, November 15, 2013
Edited: Saturday, November 23, 2013

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  • Veteran Poet - 2,990 Points Geetha Jayakumar (2/6/2014 10:02:00 AM)

    A Powerful poem from your pen.. How come I missed this beautiful Ode to the Salty tear.
    Poem is very deep and with beautiful rhythms as well...

    This poem left me wondered whether
    Is it the salty tears were spilled from eyes?
    or is the the deep thoughts were spilled from your heart?
    Made this poem wonderful.... (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 13,183 Points Aftab Alam Khursheed (11/29/2013 9:39:00 PM)

    joy and grief two kinds of dirt that comes out from the heart, cleaning device those two and tears a sludge...well writ and rhymed thank (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 924 Points Kanav Justa (11/29/2013 6:06:00 AM)

    ... wonderful poem... truly justified the title of the poem.... loved the way you wrote the lines... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 91 Points Niamat Ali Murtazai (11/27/2013 10:50:00 AM)

    A very passionate ode replete with optimism, especially the last two lines:
    and be such a buddy who never wishes to meet again
    the tearful shedder from whom you depart! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 248 Points Words' Knight (11/25/2013 1:06:00 PM)

    Very very good, I love nicely writen poem especially those who contains a lot of rhythms. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,789 Points Bri Edwards (11/22/2013 2:58:00 PM)

    un·al·loyed
    ??n?'loid/
    adjective
    adjective: unalloyed



    1.(of metal) not alloyed; pure.
    unalloyed copper
    (chiefly of emotions) complete and unreserved.
    unalloyed delight

    OKAY, i get it now...pure.

    i liked emotional waste and its rhyme. and grief-crowded heart. oops! it was grief-clouded heart.

    did you mean to have the break between these four lines? :

    You are the raindrops of a grief-clouded heart
    You do emerge when two lovers have to part

    Help your shedder turn over a new leaf
    so you're associated less with grief.

    i especially enjoyed the last stanza. i'll message you about the second to the last stanza, if i don't forget. :) bri

    as for the author's comment on a comment from 'stan' (below) : yes, ms. or mrs. or something feminine please, though i too would not have known the sex of the author, except that she told me! i would have played it safe and put mrs/mr/ms if anything perhaps. ;) and it's Indian lassie please, not Tanzanian lassie. [ i thought lassies were only Scottish girls, or collie dogs. ] (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Geetima Baruah Sarma (11/18/2013 1:31:00 AM)

    A wonderful poem. So true indeed...
    'You've emerged for a million different reasons
    many of which only the shedder knows' (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 99 Points Stan Petrovich (11/17/2013 7:01:00 AM)

    Yours is indeed odd for an ode.. However it is extremely effective, peculiar rhyme-scheme notwithstanding. I give it a ten because throughout the sad poem brings me joy, utter joy. Great work, Mr. Kamoonpurii! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 16 Points Yasmeen Khan (11/17/2013 4:18:00 AM)

    There must be something strangely sacred in salt. It is in our tears and in the sea. ”
    - Khalil Gibran
    a wonderful poem, kudos! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 24 Points Dee Corpolongo (11/17/2013 4:02:00 AM)

    Great words on a emotion that is felt by most of us.....at times. Love how you put it into a poem...
    and thank you for your comment on my last poem... hopefully, my dad sees it in heaven..... (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,519 Points Lyn Paul (11/16/2013 8:47:00 PM)

    Love the title and more so the words and they way you have pieced them together. Thank You (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 87 Points Liliana ~el (11/16/2013 2:04:00 PM)

    Lovely could be better. I like that you addressed that tears are shed for joy and grief and for various reasons. However, you seem to build only on the downside. People often tear up when laughing or moved :) (Report) Reply

Read all 26 comments »

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