Ode To Agony
Descending upon the throbbing flesh like a serpent
With venom exploding
From each bit of thy deceiving, stupefying frame
I view thee, as an offering
From my perpetual tragedy, my life
So awaited are thou!
Oh! So now my pain is my indulgence
My anxious stoic eyes now welcome thy arrival
For thou are my eternal acquaintance
Loathed foe and cherished soul mate
I admire thee!
How do thou come?
In the hours of deepest isolation
In the void of pain-drenched nothingness
In the obscurest of mind games
Tragedies and treacheries
In the darkest of nights
When all I perceive art thy eyes
Monstrous and gleaming
Agonizing, but tender
Thou embrace me, terrify,
Torment all of my being.
Coerce me to obliterate
The fossils of my compassion
And amend me to a stone
That walks, but never smiles
That resists but never debates
That lives, but is not alive.
Thou prevent me to step in a meadow
And pull with thyself in thy tyrannous low
I am bound to that intricacy though
And I worship thee, the imparter of woe!
Thou befall on me like tears
Shedding in the dusk, again
When all else is lost in winter frost
Thy umbra on me remains.
I witness thou as the messenger of my fate
The disgusted thing I’m sworn to be
My soul welcomes thou as mate
Thy truth, oh agony! I inscribe on me.
Regard to unison of devil and evil,
We shall both perish as one
I lost myself and thou found me
Oh agony! My only sanctum…..
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Poet's Notes about The Poem
I have tried to personify this kind of agony as immensely powerful and influential, in a dark shade, indeed, which is highly self absorbed and may even appear humble. In the few stanzas of beginning, the poet is meek and helpless. The lines which at one glance appear to be irony (I view thee as an offering) and sarcasm (So now my pain is my indulgence) are later found to be simple facts. There is always the thought that in whatever way agony is effective, it is only causing harm. In the later parts of the poem the poet gains strength from agony itself and becomes a similar state of being. The acceptance for agony’s superiority remains even after an imaginary feat. Though there are elements which clearly would depict the poet’s disgust for the feeling, yet, some parts also portray his resisting fascination for it.
This contradictory nature of poet’s mind makes the poem all the more realistic and the truth in its emotions is very acceptable even to the non– insomniacs.
EMBER OF DREAMS
Comments about this poem (Ode To Agony by Vartika Pandey )
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