Obsolete Poem by Tiffany Rose Moczydlowski
Obsolete
Her past was constantly
chasing her.
No matter how much she
strived to escape it,
she always inevitably
managed to be captured
by its menacing claws...
The flight to any location
was absolutely futile
because it had yet to fail
in scoping her out,
forever following just a
measly step behind.
Nightmares were bliss
compared to this existance.
At least you have a chance
to rid yourself of them
with the simple action
of opening your eyes.
But this was no sleep-terror.
It was her terrible and
unrelenting reality.
It seemed as if the
mere chance accident,
from that period so
submerged into her history,
would never cease
to sneakily bleed
dastardly effects
into her present.
Especially at this moment,
which she had been
praying would
never arrive.
''I can't do this! ''
She struggled to choke back
a sea of tears
while shrieking this
desperate decree.
Her mirror image within the
knife was a
complete and utter wreck.
Her hair was so riddled and knotted
that it was inconceivable that
it had ever come in contact
with a brush.
Then there were her burdened eyes,
wide and filled
with sorrow and sin.
A hint of her clothes was
captured by the reflection,
revealing how ripped and
torn they were,
tattered from the
long nights on the run
Those cold, hard nights...
''What has become of me? ''
she thought.
''I'm a hideous monster! ''
She tried to ignore it and
gazed at the weapon.
So much sinister history
behind this mysterious object.
She knew what she
was forced to do, even though
it made her heart heavy.
There were no options.
''I'm sorry.''
Arianna whispered.
''There's no other way.''
Lifting the accursèd dagger
and desperately wishing there was
ANY other option,
she drove it
through
his heart.
Very nicely witten Tiffany, especially godd for a 'highschooler'. Good descriptive images. I don't think I could give you any pointers... I'm just a poetaster myself... trying to learn by experience... I hope you read a lot... that's the only advice I can give you... the more you read, the more your brain/feelings will develop, enabling you to 'dip into' the (obvious) creative talent you have... Good luck... Terry
Wow your poems are just whoaa! you are soo gifted! You must have an extremely creative imagination :) well done
You such a profound writter, I took so long to comment on this writte because I really did not know what to say, but due to the amazing and interesting write, I just went to the imaginary world The_African_Son (Th³_ªfR¹cª¬_šºN)
hmm...powerful...you are a great story teller tiffany, must say..
I like that you are not conforming to typical poetic archetypes you have a more modernist sensibilities, it’s still beautiful rich in textures and is a very inviting read that never feels dull, a solid write.
Her past is Obsolete, because of the events that have transpired to bring her her to this very moment in time... I get it Tiffany, Very good, very INGENIOUS. (Had to look it up to make sure of spelling and usage correct. Yep!) I have a similar one called -The Slasher, and also Fade to Black, and also Innocent Bride, and also Possesson. Great Ink Tiffany! ! ! ; -) -Kelly.
As I was reading the poem, I got more and more into it., feeling the same emotions the girl was. When I reached the end, it felt like someone stabbed me in my heart! I love poems that are loaded with impact, emotion and imagery.
I really like this poem, because it tells a great story and you are very good at using adjectives to create images in the readers mind, but I agree that it needs to be broken down, as the stanzas are long. Apart from that, it is well written, GOOD JOB! !
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Delivering Poems Around The World
Poems are the property of their respective owners. All information has been reproduced here for educational and informational purposes to benefit site visitors, and is provided at no charge...
4/23/2024 12:14:31 PM # 1.0.0.1119
It's a good narrative poem. Well expressed at your age. I would suggest you to be more concise in writing. I means small sentences would express many things. Please bring more examples of nature in the poem. That make the poems artistic.